Pie in the sky

Did you know I miss you?
I really do.

I'm sorry for everything too, you know.
I see both sides, you know.

I hate that I've hurt you.
I hate that you've hurt me.
I hate that you won't forgive me, even though I am so so sorry.

I hate that we are all three so self-destructive.
Were you always that way?
Was I?

I long for everything to be right.
For peace.
For my self not getting in the way.
For no more regrets that hang like heavy heavy bags of sand on my ankles.

[thud, thud, thud.....silence.]

Pie in the sky?
No, this is real.
This is no dream, it is coming.

or it's here.



love,
sam

p.s. if you click the image and then click "all sizes" above it in flickr, you'll be able to read the words on the original illustration (they're separate from what i wrote here.)

an introduction is in order

i have a new side blog.  here she is:
http://greyfoxmuse.blogspot.com/

it's for all my poetic-type musings.

there's also a twitter for her, in case you'd like to keep getting bits of random inspiration from me.

cheers!
sam

daily illustration

well hello there!

here's Robot Accordion Man... just for you! this is an actual daily illustration, not just from my moleskine like i'd said...

how is this possible? you ask, remembering how i said i was short on time.

well.

turns out i have more time than i think when i don't spend the whole evening playing with my new iphone. (insert sheepish grin here.)

love,
sam

daily illustration

today's is just a quick little illustration of a favorite g.m. hopkins quote (thanks to the morgans for getting me a book of his poetry a few birthdays ago).

the in-laws are in town for the holiday weekend, so i'll be out of pocket until tuesday.

hope everyone enjoys some non-labor on labor day!

cheers,
sam

daily illustration

there was a huge storm that came through town last week and destroyed many of the trees in the northwest corner of central park, where i often take my afternoon walk.

i came upon a particularly large, freshly-cut tree stump and was compelled to count the rings. 83.
i stood there on the stump for a bit, thinking things over.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

my father died two years ago today.
it's really weird-feeling. hollow.

love,
sam

p.s. the daily drawings are still up on my flickr, where i had first dealt with my grieving.
also, you can view the above illustration larger by clicking on it and heading over to my flickr.

daily illustration

a poem about blowing your nose.

salud!
sam

p.s. you can view it larger on flickr by clicking the image.

i made a book.

you can go see it on flickr. i recommend clicking the "i made a book" box at the right of my page to read it in order... they got all crazy when i uploaded them.

p.s. what would you be/do if you joined the circus?

empty

if you open me up,
i'm afraid you'll find
i'm empty,
i'm empty inside

but where has it gone?
where could it hide?
i'm empty,
i'm empty inside

see, i lost my heart
the day he died
i'm empty,
i'm empty inside

so if you open me up,
i'm afraid you'll find
i'm empty,
i'm empty inside.

in a round

sailor joe, sailor joe
what about the ribbons?
what about the toes?
miles and miles of sea you've seen,
'til the battered ship, she fell
out of sight behind the swell
as you clung to that little ring
for your very life. we sing,

prose for monday.

we are dancing
dancing

and we are old
and we are remembering it all
as we turn under the stars and twinkle lights
all strung in a canopy among the branches overhead

where has all the time gone?
like sweet melodies in a minor key,
so bittersweet.

no second helpings.
it comes and goes just the once
and we are left frozen and speechless at its irrevocable beauty.

poignant?
yes, to the point of tears.
all this beauty and all this pain
lived over and over again.

maybe if i can keep laughing
i can keep my sanity.

new piece and musings

i finally finished a new piece yesterday evening and here it is! i had picked up a book of rilke poems about three weeks ago and immediately started tabbing pages that seemed to inspire a visual.

this one was forefront in my mind, so here's the piece. i posted the english translation from the book on flickr.

speaking of art, i am trying to start the 12-step creative recovery program called "the artist's way". i say "trying" because the course has daily writings and homework that are about an hour per day and i just haven't made space in my routine yet. (although i have started reading the actual book). it just kept coming up in conversation and i have been feeling a little restless lately, so i hoped it might help me deal with whatever stands between me and a healthy sense of creative contentment and rhythm.

lastly, as the temperatures bob up and down, the highs are getting higher and i can tell spring is trying to arrive. it's been so long since i've lived somewhere with seasons (kindergarten) and there's something so magical about watching buds appear tentatively on long, skeletal branches and seeing rain on the forecast instead of only snow.

sorry for the long break in communication. hope everyone is well!
sam