Nesting dolls: stage 2

this is one of the projects i've been working on in the past few days.

besides this, i've been tackling the enormous pile of laundry we've got (did 4 bags worth today!) and working on some freelance projects, which have been loads of fun, but not really post-able just yet.

i've also been a bit sad for the past few days...
sometimes i question what on earth i'm doing trying to be an artist... i get very negative and doubtful and impatient.

i think it's connected to my always wanting to see ahead to a safe landing before jumping.

i feel like i'm in the longest ever free-fall.

i keep telling everyone that it's fun and terrifying at the same time, but that's not true at all... it seems to be EITHER fun OR terrifying, depending on what moment you ask.

today it's fun.
ask again tomorrow.

love,
sam

the swift current

i am a mess today.

big heaping, tangled, knotted, jumbled up mess.

crazy crayola scribble.

there are things in my life that i would very much like to control, which sadly, are out of my control.

there are also things in my life seemingly within my control, which sadly (again), i seem to be effing up.

it's like i learned to juggle and then just kept adding more and more balls until that critical point where they all start falling out of orbit like large pieces of hail.

it's hailing expectations and to-do list items around here.

and i bruise so easily.

love,
sam

prose for monday.

we are dancing
dancing

and we are old
and we are remembering it all
as we turn under the stars and twinkle lights
all strung in a canopy among the branches overhead

where has all the time gone?
like sweet melodies in a minor key,
so bittersweet.

no second helpings.
it comes and goes just the once
and we are left frozen and speechless at its irrevocable beauty.

poignant?
yes, to the point of tears.
all this beauty and all this pain
lived over and over again.

maybe if i can keep laughing
i can keep my sanity.

avoiding it...

i think sometimes my emotions make me claustrophobic... so i just ignore them.

this explains a lot.