eating my words
Posted on | May 3, 2005 | Leave A Comment
well i found a cool quote while reading ben shahn’s THE SHAPE OF CONTENT (requisite reading for artists).
“It became uncomfortably apparent to me that whatever one thinks as well as whatever one paints must be constantly reexamined, torn apart, if that seems to be indicated, and reassembled in the light of new attitudes or new discovery.”
the key word for me in that quote is “uncomfortably”. amen. that is probably the best way to describe where i feel i am lately… since graduating and leaving the safe womb of undergrad studios, my work has undergone numerous deaths and rebirths and i’m still not really sure what is going on with me. after feeling like i had a “style” with which to work, i am suddenly back to sketching still-lifes of organic shapes (orchids and trees). the hard part is to not lose hope and to not be so aware of even “where i am” in my art, but to stay connected to the love of it and its intuitive nature as a communication between me and God. from my art and even my marriage i am coming to understand how terribly stubborn and intensely afraid i am as a person. learning is a painful process, as one of russell’s professors once told him. coming from someone who’s been pretty good at everything she’s tried so far in life, i’m starting to believe it’s true and that i might be, for the first time, really learning something.
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